i jinxed myself in my last blog. whining about playing soccer on sand and rocks should have been saved until after i lost 15% of the skin on my left leg to the field conditions. to make matters worse, i apparently have some sort of soft tissue thing in my right hip. needless to say, i'm a mess. standing up, sitting down, lying down, walking, and thinking all seem to aggravate my conditions.
in short, i am useless. i was directed to go to the clinic today and get checked out (due to my noticeable limp), and was put on 'quarters' for about a day. quarters is the army's way of having you do as little as possible. they are very specific about where i can and cannot go while on quarters. the list of off-limits venturing includes 'places other than the bathroom' and 'everywhere but the bathroom.' this means i need people to bring me food. food is a hobby of mine. most days in enjoy eating food of some variety three or more times. this strenuous schedule of nourishment has been in my life for years, and i tend to get a little moody if something comes between my calories and me.
while i do not consider myself overly self-reliant, but i dont like being doted on. i like being able to do things for myself, and it is never more evident how little i like relying on others for basic needs than when i am enfeebled. to give you a glimpse into just how messed up i am, i was passed by a guy on crutches while hobbling back from the clinic this morning. upon seeing who had just overtaken me, i felt my face crinkle the same way it did when Mufasa dies in The Lion King. i was heartbroken that this little invalid was actually making better progress than i was. naturally, i summoned most of my courage and resolve, caught up to the crutcher, and kicked his back leg out, causing him to yell things at me that are not fit to print.
my room mate just brought me food. thank god, i havent eaten in 15 hours. maybe my mind will stop being so negative, and i will relax a bit. note to self: give that guy his crutches back.
Hilarious
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